Mine to Keep (for now)

Why is everything with so complicated ?  Yes, you are right. I am not easy to love.  Is this why I have so much trouble getting love and holding  it?   To have but not to hold.   If this is what is to be then why could I not have known this earlier?  I so could have learned to detach myself from those poor, ridiculous budding romances I had created in my head and wanted for them to become real ?  Yea, I could have probably become one of those cold, heartless bitches because I was hard to love. Then I could have really found the ‘one’ by knowing how and why I acted and did the things I do. Then it happened.   You do find that one guy you instantly connect with. The first night we spent time together. We talked about everything. We were at a local, small bar that wasn’t crowded. We sat side by side, but I swear an hour into us talking we were face to face with our legs were intertwined together. We never stopped talking. 9 months later we still are talking and together. There was something about how comfortable we felt around each other. We shared similar ideas on everything.  We were inseparable.  It wasn’t just the physical part,  it was all the parts that came together. Did I mention this was a blind date? I spoke with him several times on the phone. Even then, our level of conversation was stimulating!  Yes, I was nervous to see him in person.  Nothing about  him tuned me off.  Nothing.  The intimacy was invigorating.  There are times  that we can spend together when we have very intimate moments that are beyond words.  Our bodies fit together like a glove.  Its blissful, sexy, soothing and satisfying all at once.   He had a level of emotion and closeness that I never thought men could reach. I’m looking forward to another 9 months… as long as the sexy conversations continue why would I release him yet. Yes, he has faults., He can be insensitive, annoying, interrupting when I’m watching my shows. Lazy at times. But hey, I can be all of that too… and I do.  And he has a demented ex-wife. I mean certifiable. She had a rough childhood, prostituting after dropping out of HS… etc. etc..   He’s done all he can for her. Concentrate on me and his daughters. That’s all the love he needs to produce at this time.   Cant wait for what’s to come.

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~ by generalslc on October 27, 2014.

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