Rejection still stings

Two important things I’ve come to realize.  Sadly through lessons and experience that  I cannot seem to get ahold of.

If a guy loves you, you’ll know it. My friends tell this to me all the time. If someone wants to talk to you, they will. If someone wants to be with you, they will be. If theyre not, they dont. I know, I know, youre thinking up all the excuses in the world as to why this person actually does want to be around you but just cant for some reason, and thats often a great coping mechanism until you can accept reality. But— he does  know that I want to be with him right ?; or at the very least interested   He’s  just not ready.He needs time to figure himself out. Or to figure out a current relationship !  If someone wants to be with you, they will be, or at the very minimum, they will tell you that they want to be and explain why they cant, and that reason will be plausible and rational. Plausible and rational.  Those are key feelings.  Its unfortunate that people can try to accept love into their heart, foolishly just to feel love.  When you know yourself to be able to offer the best of you and possibly more to that one guy, but unfortunately the door isn’t available for you, not the way I want it. I don’t want or deserve scraps of your time. I was settling for them. I wanted love.  Its even more difficult, painful and unbearable when the person leads you on to varying degrees making you think that it could be possible. After weeks and weeks of anguish, like how can this guy actually not know now ?  You’ve clearly been playing both of us, (myself and his girlfriend that he broke up with)  I’m talking I’ve lost night after night of sleep. Drinking excessively to forget this guy and his rejection,  He  happened upon me for a reason.  He  pursued me. Made the first contact, asking always  to see me… and now you still may not be ready. ?  I said my feelings to him and kindly asked him to not contact me anymore. The sting of rejection hurts, especially when it seems you’ve been played on the entire time. It took a few depressed weeks and I was finally getting him out of my head. And then he calls.Seems his ‘old’,  ‘current girlfriend whatever she is how gotten wind of his of infidelities and once again, I’m back in contact with him. I cant stop ‘wanting’ to talk to him. I’m perplexed now more then ever.  He does really still have an interest in me and always did, but wasn’t ready then, he wants to end things the right way. really? I have never heard a guy say that before. To date, he’s ‘s sweating it out, apparently the current girlfriend is wanting to talk with me. Should I tell her? I’m on the fence as what to do.  My heart is loving the attention he now is giving me, but I deep down know its for all the wrong reasons. I’m gonna let him sweat, but eventually she will know the truth. Then maybe she’ll feel the sting of rejection 

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~ by generalslc on December 11, 2013.

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