A Beginner’s Guide To Self-Destruction

Thought Catalog

Like most things, practice is required. However natural you may be at self slaying, you’ll learn your accuracy increases after a time or two. Or five. Yes, it helps to lack any sense of self-preservation but that too can be whittled away with the right amount of pathological hate and whiskey. Which brings me to…

Step 1: Drink. What you drink does matter, not in category but in brand. Whether it be whiskey, beer, wine, tequila, vodka, or that god awful piss they call gin, it must be cheap. Do not spare your mouth throat lungs stomach the burn you find on the bottom shelf. That intoxicating singe is an essential reminder of every irrefutable fact you must never forget. So drink them in. Glue them to the pits of your stomach. You’ll find them again when your head’s in the toilet.

Step 2: Stop blaming others. In two words:…

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~ by Thought Catalog on April 26, 2013.

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