Trust and let it go.

Everyone handles trust differently. Past hurts becomes your current and sometimes lifetime insecurities. The relationships that are established and upon that point forward will be- ever changing and challenging.  Its often a very scared  , lonely feeling. I always, always feel as if I chasing something that once had, and will probably never have again.  You are not living at that point. Just wading thru water, hoping you can get thru rough seas ahead.. but still and always alone, even if someone is there, still always alone.  sadly that feeling never changes, but we change.. and to a scarier, harden person that i never would have imagined being.  I was a loving, caring person… did more for others then for myself. I once was using the mantra.. ” I would do for others to make them even if I wasn’t. everyone happiness was more important than my own.”  if my family and friends were happy then I was… their happiness was my happiness.  Looking back now, that I can’t get or ever hold that trust and true happiness saddens me as to why I ever gave it away.

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~ by generalslc on February 2, 2013.

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